Unholy Grail Vignette:
Conversation with Jesus
Richard B. Sorensen
Copyright © 2007, All Rights Reserved
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~ Galatians 6:7-8
As Mary Magdalene mentally relived the events of that fateful evening of a week ago when she was raped, the memories of her terror returned. "Lord, you must know what happened to me on the night you were arrested."
"Yes, I do, and now you are carrying Judas' child," Jesus replied gently, almost in a whisper.
In spite of Jesus' presence, Mary's anger and helplessness over what Judas had done to her came back, along with a bitterness and a sense of betrayal. She suddenly felt tears of rage welling up inside of her, and gathering her emotions, she looked up directly into his eyes, and said, "Why did this happen to me?"
The words were as hard as diamond, demanding an answer. But Jesus did not back down or look away; instead he met her anger, and continued to gaze at her with tenderness. It seemed as if he knew she would be asking that very question, and that this was why he had come.
"People all down through the ages have asked that question, and I shall answer it for you, if you will listen." Jesus replied." Are you ready to hear?"
Mary realized that she was still caught up with her own anger and emotions, and had not been listening to him. With an effort she put the bitterness aside, and then looked at him and nodded.
"There are three answers to the question of suffering." Jesus said to Mary. "The first and most significant answer for you personally, is that you are my friend and my closest female follower, and therefore you were a prime target. The enemy wanted to regain control over you, and use you for his own purposes--to attack me and destroy my work. The enemy considers all the people of the world to be his property, and he will fight against you using every means at his disposal. Those who stand up for God will especially be attacked."
"Lord, who is the enemy, really?"
"The enemy is the greatest of our sons who has rebelled against us. He is Lucifer, the angel of light and the son of the morning, who was the most powerful and glorious of all of the angels."
"Why did he rebel?"
"Because he was jealous of me. I am the king and ruler of all, and he wanted my place and my position. He allowed pride to consume him and refused to bow to me; he refuses to serve anyone else other than himself."
"When did this happen?"
"Long ago during the creation of the cosmic all and when time itself was being created. Each angel was given an assignment, and Lucifer was given this universe and this world, the cradle of humanity, as his charge. He was created as the greatest of all of the guardian angels, and it was his responsibility to be a shepherd--to build people up and make them great. But he wanted to rule rather then serve. Even though humans are far beneath him in power, he even became jealous and envious of them, because of the love that God had for them. Thus he became a tyrant instead of a shepherd, and his desire was to use people to satisfy his own ego, as well as to mock God by corrupting and twisting them. So we deposed him, and he fell from his high place and position. But rather than repent and turn back, he hardened his heart and decided that he would become our enemy. He became Satan--the devil, the evil one, the accuser, the destroyer, and the great deceiver."
"But Lucifer must have known that God is much more powerful than he is. How could he ever hope to win?" asked Mary.
"Yes, he knows that very well, but he is so puffed up with his own pride that he believed that he could prevail by using the Father's characteristics against him. The Father is righteous and just, and he never lies or deceives. Satan believed that he could craft a winning strategy against God because he is not bound by those limitations. He uses truth, lies, good, and evil in any way that happens to suit his purpose. And even if he can not win directly, his hatred is so deep and so intense that he wanted to do as much damage to the creation as possible. He believed that he could bring humanity down along with himself. By seducing Adam and Eve, he thought that he could make the Father turn against the human race and curse them because of the absolute righteousness and the justice of God. But Satan forgot the grace of God, and he did not anticipate that we would construct a plan in which I would come and die in their place, and become their atonement. The day of my death was truly Yom Kippur, and when the angel of death passes over all people in the Great Passover at the end of days, everyone who trusts in me will be covered by my blood and will see the face of God."
"So you have been fighting against Satan since creation?"
"Yes. It is an unseen war that began at the dawn of time, and will not be over until the end, when he is cast into the lake of fire. Satan has opposed our plans from the beginning, and that is why he has always hated and persecuted Jewish people, because they are the family that the Father chose as my human lineage. He also hates and opposes all who follow me and who join the family of God. Satan is still lord of the earth, and everyone who seeks power, glory, and wealth come under his influence. Many of the rulers of the world who act in their own selfish interest do his bidding without understanding what they are doing. This was the greatest of his temptations to me when I was in the desert with him. He offered to give me all of the kingdoms of the world so I could avoid the cross and the agony that I suffered. But the price was bowing down and worshipping him, so instead I rebuked him."
"Who are all of the others that are with him, such as the ones that you cast out of me? Where did they come from?"
"They are other angels that he corrupted and recruited to join him. A third of all of our angelic sons joined his rebellion and became his servants. They became the demons, some great and some small, and you are personally acquainted with them and how they work."
Mary shuddered, remembering Sobek and the others--how they had lied to her in order to gain control of her mind and then had almost destroyed her. "What happened to Judas?"
"Like you, he allowed the demons to take control of his mind, but he was extremely proud and unwilling to face his shame and turn from it. The demons used him for their purposes and then forced him to commit suicide. Now they are feeding on him and on his spirit."
She shuddered again, realizing that this possibly could have been her fate as well. "Will he eventually be consumed and cease to exist?"
"No. The outrage of their disease will go on and on. There is no longer any cure, and they will continue to infect him and feed on his spirit forever. The maggots will continue to crawl over him and into him, and neither he nor they will ever truly die."
Mary felt almost physically sick. "But--but that is horrible! Couldn't you just destroy him somehow?"
"Satan will eventually be dealt with, but all creatures have their own existence, and the ability to freely exercise their own will within limits. Therefore he still has great power, and the nations of the world are under his control. As you yourself know, however, he has power over you only if you allow him to have it, and so it is with everyone. The power of the Father is much greater, and the demons tremble even as they lust for human spirits. Do you remember what happened when you prayed?"
Mary remembered her miraculous deliverance, and how things had changed almost instantly. She knew that an angel from God had delivered her, just as at Magdala. "So no one ever actually dies?" The thought of an eternity stretching on forever and ever was a daunting concept.
"The body dies, but the soul is immortal. Souls will outlast the rocks and the mountains, and the universe itself. Only the Father can destroy souls."
"Does everyone who is cast into hell become food for the demons, like Judas?"
"The eternal destiny of each person is in the hands of the Father, and each person will be judged on the basis of his or her deeds."
"Lord, it seems that everything is inevitable and you have already decided what will happen--do not the Scriptures say this? Are some people just fated to go to hell? Do we have any real choices?" These questions had troubled Mary for a long time.
"The Father works all things according to his will, from eternity he calls those whom he chooses, and he is in absolute control of destiny. But each person makes his or her own choices and responds to life and to God as they will."
"But how can it be that God is in absolute control of destiny, and yet people can make their own choices? I do not understand how both of these can be true."
"Both are true, but it is not yet given to you to fully understand this. However, look at it in this way: from the perspective of this life the Father appears to be distant, and you must make the hard choices to do the right thing. But from the perspective of heaven, you will look back on your life and see that the Spirit of God was with you all the way."
"Why does God make himself distant from us? Why is it often so hard to believe and to pray?"
"You are being trained to become a child of the King--to become a princess in his kingdom so that you eventually can shine like a star. Your character is being developed and the trials of your life are meant to train you for greatness. God seems distant at times so that you will be forced to develop and use faith and trust."
"But if God has already chosen us, why do we have to be trained?" asked Mary.
"Again, you misunderstand the nature of God's call. Nothing is automatic or inevitable. Each one must choose to respond, and must submit himself or herself to the training that life brings, and that is the way that each one will grow in character and wisdom, or fail to do so. The Father is above time and knows what people will do, but they themselves choose to obey or disobey and thus go forward or backward. Before my betrayal took place, I said that Judas would betray me, not because it was inevitable, but rather because the Father knew what Judas would do. Judas still made that choice himself, and in doing so, he knowingly chose to follow the devil."
"But wasn't Judas already under the influence of demons when he did those bad things?"
"You do not truly know the real Judas, and it is not for you to render judgment on another person's life. At the very end, Judas's mind was gone, but he is still responsible for refusing to turn back, and for allowing his life to be taken over by the enemy.
"Let us move on to the second answer to your question of suffering," said Jesus. "Look outside for a moment." Mary looked out the window. The sun was shining, birds were singing and the bees were buzzing in the spring air.
"It's a beautiful day--is something wrong?" she asked.
"The sun is shining and everything looks peaceful, does it not?"
"Yes...?"
"This peace is from the Father, and it is a real thing, but it also covers a deeper reality. As I said before, there is a continual war raging on earth. It is an unseen war between Satan and his demons and the forces of heaven, with smaller battles in various places and skirmishes taking place all of the time. People suffer many problems simply because the world is under a curse, and because it is a battleground. On the streets of Magdala when I healed you, you saw a small taste of what that war really looks like."
The vivid images of the demons, the bright angel with the sword, and the absolute viciousness of the conflict returned to her mind. "What exactly is the war about?"
"It is a war for the soul of every person. No quarter is given and there are no pauses or truces in this war--it goes on continually. Therefore no one can live completely at peace in this life because there are demonic forces seeking to seduce and conquer each individual. Most of the time the war is very subtle and people do not notice it--many even ridicule the notion that such a war exists because it is largely fought in the realm of ideas, beliefs, and religion. But regardless of what a person thinks, the problems of evil will beset everyone, and all will suffer to some degree. This is the second reason for your suffering, Mary."
"But Lord, so many are unaware of this battle and seem to just live out their lives and die without any great choice being made. What of them? And what of those who lived in the years and centuries before you came? It doesn't seem fair." Mary thought of the story of Abraham praying for the city of Sodom, and what Abraham had said to God,
Far be it from you to do such a thing, to slay the righteous with the wicked, so that the righteous and the wicked are treated alike. Far be it from you! Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?
"All people were created by the Father, so in one sense they are all our children. There is no partiality or favoritism with God. The issue is with people--whether or not they are willing to submit and acknowledge the Father's rule over them. Like Satan, people resist God's authority, and there have been many gods and religions that people have invented and followed. Some simply worship themselves and their own desires. Satan tries to blind people and keep them in thrall by concealing the truth that there is only one supreme power and that every person is called to obey and submit to the Father in heaven. Nevertheless, the light of the knowledge of God and the greatness of his power has been given to each person in varying degrees. Each person will be judged on the basis of how he or she responded to the understanding given to them. Some worshipped Baal and other gods without knowing any better, and even some disciples of John the Baptist rejected me because they thought that I was not from the Father. At the final judgment every person who has ever lived will stand before me, and everything that he or she has ever said, done, and even thought will be revealed. Each one will then be judged on the basis of this information. There will be no more lies, no lawyers, no excuses, and no shading of the evidence; everyone will understand that their own judgment was right and true."
"But Lord, if you and the Father truly love and care for everyone, how could you send anyone to hell?"
"Mary, you ask that because you are not thinking clearly. Those sent to hell are there because they have chosen to reject me and go their own way. Hell is the simply the place which is away from the presence of the Father, and therefore it is the true home for those who seek their own way and refuse to submit to the Lord of the universe. The only means whereby such a person could enter heaven is by having his will removed so that he becomes like a rock or a tree, and is no longer truly a person. The Father will not turn people into objects. Whatever a man sows in this life he will surely reap in the next, and everyone will live with the consequences of his or her own choices; anything else would be a mockery of justice. Those in hell receive their just fate. Even those in heaven who have lived mainly for themselves and who have given little for my sake and for the kingdom will be paupers. People make many plans and store up much on earth for their years here which are fleeting, but have stored up little in heaven where they will live forever." Jesus paused so that Mary could take in what he had said.
"This leads directly to the third answer to your question of suffering. Those who have responded to the call of God, who have suffered for my sake, who have kept the faith, and who have given their resources for others--they will be given eternal and priceless treasures from the Lord of the universe. They will stand in front of the One who created them, and he will say to them, 'Well done!' They will be wealthy and blessed in ways that they cannot now imagine or even conceive of.
"Mary, your struggles are preparing you for a completely new existence--a weight of glory--which you will receive after the end of days."
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